Ashtoreth's Mirror

Relocation

2009-03-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

Until further notice, or server failure, my posts and updates will be occurring solely on IJ. I just cannot keep up with multiple accounts and would rather devote all of my attention to one place.

Mysteries of the Dark Moon.
Prayers to the Moon.

The Sixth Chamber Inward

2009-02-04T06:25:00.001-08:00

Sea of Crisis - A trap is a device or condition that restricts movement. Sometimes you can be trapped by situations, habits, social customs, the prevailing views of your culture, or your own unwillingness to act. Usually, our traps are a combination of many things. When have you felt trapped> Identify the different aspects of the trap, the parts you could not control, the roles you might have played in being trapped, and the ways you chose to handle the situation. Did you escape, or are you still constrained by the trap? Think of who or what might help you escape now and imagine ways you can avoid this trap in the future.

Not to be flippant, but the trusty old trap map[TM]. It is one of the more invaluable tools in the shaman's pack and one that becomes worn and smoothed from use. I really do need to begin to use my inner landscapes map much more and much wiser...

Yes. There are traps and many times I can see them coming and detour. Other times, they catch me right unawares and near-disaster can occur. Steps have been taken to rectify and escape this trap, and others are identified and measures are being hammered out in my morning pages.

Chapter Four: Nemesis questions

2009-01-29T08:18:00.000-08:00

Previous answers found here.

1. Do I have a concept of right and wrong, and do I have a value system to determine the difference? Is there some force within me that advises me against following a course of wrong action? Do I believe in a wrathful, punishing divine force that operates outside of my control? Or do I have a sense that it might be my own actions and attitudes that eventually lead to my punishment?

Yes. I think that much of humanity does, and we've been attempting to codify it for centuries. Sometimes I think that humanity delights in taking things that should be fairly straight forward and over-complicating them. My uncle and I were talking about this this weekend; somehow treating others as you wish to be treated came up at supper and he countered that the flaw in that philosophy was the person who wanted to be treated like a jerk and so acted like an jerk. Not so much, treat them well at first and if they prove that they want to be treated like a jerk then by all means, feel free to do so or to ignore them. I don't want to be called a jerk or be seen as a total anti-social scumbag, so I try to avoid acting like one. My internal forces are vain that way.

An outside force, like some celestial bogey-man with a Rod of Smitting? Not so much, although if there are such jobs in the universe, I'd be a bit more than 1/2 tempted to apply for any vacancies. You great moron! Taste the Rod of Smiting and despair! There's an ex-president and an ex-vice president that top my list of who I'd visit first.

I am an 'as you sow, so shall you reap' believer. Eventually, anti-social behaviour will catch you up. Ignoring your own needs, too, will catch you up. Life is constant movement toward balance and the middle road. Some lessons are more painful than others, but if we learn from them, our road gets a bit easier to walk.

2. Do I try to "get away" with things? Am I dishonest when it is to my advantage? If I have good luck, do I share my bounty with others? When I am wrong, do I admit it? Do I see the law and authority figures as hostile powerful forces who are out to get me?

Oh, let's just call it what it is, shall we? Cheating. I dislike cheating intensely; even more than I dislike being beaten at a game by someone who's having a better run of luck, more skilled, etc. There's always another day and another game to be had.

Yes, I do share my good fortune with others, although, it seems like it's been a while since the last windfall from Dama Fortuna [Yes, I do suppose that is a hint to the Universe.]

I do try to admit when I'm wrong. It's hard some times, I'm human not a saint, but when I'm wrong, there's nothing to be gained by digging my heels in and insisting that I'm right. That's just asking to lose in greater ways.

Do I see the law and authority figures as hostile powerful forces who are out to get me? Yes and no. The law is an agreed upon set of social behaviours we agree to abide by for the betterment of all. Officers of the law and politicians are appointed to ensure that these applications of law apply to all equally and fairly. In theory. In practise, well, I am old enough that idealism has been tarnished by watching these public servants in action abusing and distorting their positions of authority for personal agrandisment and gain. "Who shall watch over the guardians?" That is our job. Oh, maybe we all do get to have a Rod of Smiting, even if it takes the form of outraged letters to editors, justices, judiciary committees, etc.

Community organisers and their pens! I bet Sarah Palin would be quaking in her caribou booties at that thought if it ever made it through the hair-spray haze that surrounds her.

The Fifth Chamber Inwards

2009-01-28T12:43:00.000-08:00

Home Free - I remember feeling a special sense of safety as a child when I fell asleep with my siblings in the backseat of the car as my parents drove us home. Now that I am an adult and a city dweller, that feeling has become more elusive. What does safety mean to you? When do you feel completely safe and at peace? Describe the last time you experienced these feelings and what contributed to your sense of well-being. If you cannot recall such a time, imagine a situation that might evoke feelings of safety and describe the circumstances. Notice when you feel safe this week.

Oh dear, where to begin with this one...

Right, safety is an illusion that we're all pretty much well rid of if we expect it to magically manifest just because we've met a specific set of circumstances or went into the right room*.

That said, and in the spirit of what this exercise means, yes, there are times when I do feel safe. Generally, they occur after I find my feet happily and concretely upon terra firma after being in a risky situation. The last time I truly and deeply with 100% of my being felt physically safe was on 31 December, 2008 after I successfully crossed the hell bridge to get the beastiette. Terror is not too strong a word for driving over that bridge with the crosswinds blowing the way they were. Hells, even on the road there were gusts that pushed the car as I was driving. Before that, it was the time I swam out of a rip-tide. I suppose that I am lucky in that most of the time, I do feel physically safe in my environment.

Well-being and a sense of personal comfort is a bit different. I'm generally not 100% comfortable [personally] at work. I'm not meant to be; I'm doing a job, not enjoying my personal self. Comfort and well-being comes from being at home in the environment that I've chosen and have made my own. When this area is compromised, I get cranky and out-of-sorts until that is rectified. I am slowly learning to be more assertive about keeping this are protected and sacrosanct.

It's also, too, getting into the car at the end of the day. I can shed all expectations of how I am supposed to act and respond and just be myself. I can crank the radio up and sing as loudly as I want. I can be myself completely with no masques worn.

*I also realise that I have more of a luxury than many to be able to say this. That I do have this luxury places the obligation upon me to help everyone who lives daily in fear of their personal safety to live in the same circumstances. I am responsible to work toward bringing equity and justice to everyone. To do less would be to betray my obligations as a priestess.

The Fourth Chamber Inwards

2009-01-21T06:40:00.001-08:00

This week, explore your idealism by designing a utopian society where everything is as it should be - according to you. Some areas to consider: how to make agreements and resolve conflicts, guidelines for behaviour, community principles, systems for communication, housing, and the economy. You might borrow from existing cultures, creating a "bill of rights" or "twelve steps" as well as inventing new values and forms that incorporate your own ideals. DO not forget to include fun and pleasure and allow your imagination full reign. As you construct your utopia, study the culture in which you live now, noting what you would retain and what you would change. Here is how I began: I have named my ideal society Escapadia, where we live in small, self-governing communities. We live close to the earth, eating what we grow and trading skills, tools, and art with other communities. Violence is forbidden and nearly forgotten. We use computer technology to participate in global efforts, but our main concerns are listening to the earth, communicating with other creatures, and enjoying the beauties of this planet. Country line-dancing and two-stepping are national pastimes...

First of all, I could not do this exercise without admitting to absolutely hating the term 'Escapadia' and railing against people all-the-bloody-time misusing the term Utopia. Utopia does not mean 'perfect place' it means 'no place' and I personally believe More was using the work as social satire on the state of England during his time, not something he could actively do outside a body of fiction. Additionally, I believe using the term encourages us to actively look outside of ourselves to find a state of ideal perfection. That is not going to happen until we achieve inner balance, and once we have that, then our inner world eclipses the outer and there is no need for the fruitless external search.

Ideally, though, people would live according to their means and needs. Nature would be respected as a finite resource to be managed sustainably and nurtured. Development would be smart and implemented with the aim of benefiting all, not just the developers. Individuals would be honoured for their gifts, not for contorting and squeesing themselves into cookie-cutter moulds and denying their personality.

In short, the ideal society would begin by adopting and implementing sage advice from a few thousand years ago: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Chapter Four: Nyx - Question 2

2009-01-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

Previous answers found here.

2. Do I recognise the positive power of being alone, of having open unscheduled time in my life, or of having a spacious uncluttered environment? Can I utilise these situations to be open, receptive, and still; or do I percive them as feeling lonely, bored, or impoverished?

Anyone who knows me will know my answers here. Yes, a full thousand fold. I jealously guard my free time and cherish my own personal time. I don't begrudge company or socialising, but I do need a small amount of time just for me on a daily basis, or I get horribly out of sorts.

Uncluttered environment? That's a nice dream. Actually, I don't mind 'active clutter' the piles of materials needed to be present when working on projects. Filth and dirt, no... those aren't flying in my house. A pristine and spartan [or Ikean] environment would drive me to tears and mental boredom quick as a wink. To me, it just speaks of a meanness of spirit and coldness of personality.

Meán Geimhridh

2008-12-21T09:57:00.001-08:00

The day of rest and pause, the day when the year is cloaked in potential and the dreaming of all that can be. Light is an ember being fed by the dreams of the dark, sparking upon the kindling of imagination. Today is the day the dreaming is made real.

Today the ember of direct light illumes the passage from inner to outer, showing the way to this year's rebirth. Those things I need to carry with me shine brightly in this light: sigils and glyphs that beckon from ceiling, walls, and floor of the mind-womb, carved there by my hand awaiting their time to shine. I will remember them and carry them with me, companions in spirit and tokens of hope.

Blessed is the day.

The Pause in the Breath of the Year

2008-12-19T07:11:00.001-08:00

We are not quite to the day of standstill, yet we are firmly in the bracket days and the pall of dread is losing it's supremacy.

There has been much harvested this autumn season, in both inner and outer worlds. Yesterday and Thursday the worst of the pressures of fear and uncertainty were at work and I developed a wicked migraine. Today, we slide into the calm days, the waiting days, and a fine rain is falling to wash away the last of the clinging chaff so that the seeds carried within may be nourished and ready to sprout forth later in spring.

The spiralling downward descent has slowed, softly now we sink into the ease of healing dark, and reading the signs left by those who have walked this path before us, know that soon the upward growth will begin. We return with new wisdom, rested and unwearied now, once more to listen to the wisdom in the wind and the rain, and to leave our own marks upon the stones.

Chapter Four: Nyx - Question 1

2008-12-03T07:46:00.000-08:00

The previous established pattern gets shaken up here. Instead of a chapter with questions at the end, here we have a chapter with questions at the end of each section. This is, I hope, an omen that the topics will begin to do more than just skim the surface of the topics and get into a bit more discussion of the thoughts behind the ideas presented rather than act as an introduction to the ideas/concepts being discussed.

The previous chapters, to me, were valuable and I liken them to taking a trip to an isolated island. Those chapters were akin to listening to a guide describe the terrain as the vessel we are on circles the island, giving us a glimpse of all its outer faces before we land and disembark to explore the inner sections. I am really hoping that this second section of the book shows the pathways leading inward to the heart of the island.

Without further ado, let's see where this leads us.

Previous answers found here.

1. In what ways do I link the words black to empty, chaos to confusion, and void to nothingness? How have these associations shaped my concepts of the dark?

Actually, I generally associate white with empty, as in 'white space' and 'white noise' with black being viewed as being filled with infinite possibility. I do admit to using chaotic/chaos to sometimes described huge events involving many, many people; but that said, there is generally a level of organisation to those events that negates any sense of confusion. Confusion, for me, is more often that not associated with disorganisation. These associations have not negatively impacted how I think about darkness. The void/abyss is not a deep dark scary place to look into; which I do think some people think, especially after they hear that Nietzsche quote 'Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.' I prefer to view the void/abyss as that which contains all creative potential: the primal caldera from which all potential possibilities spring forth.

Chapter three, Question three

2008-12-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

Previous answers found here.

3. Do I have hope in the possibilities of the New Age? Do I feel despair over the dying environment of the planet or see it as a hopeless task? Do I feel moved to try to save the earth? Can I see death of the old as the precursor to the birth of the new?

Given the current prevailling attitudes of those in power to make sweeping climatic choices, no, I don't have a great deal of hope in the possibilities of a new age. Yet, that said, given the signs that the majority are shaking off the yoke of illusion and ignorance that they've willingly worn for the past decades, perhaps the glimmer does grow a bit stronger. I am trying to nurture that feeling, even though I often quip that I 'will not give up entirely upon humanity no matter how often they prove they don't deserve it.' Colour me cautiously optimistic.

Environmental issues. Add a healthy dose of anger to my despair, please. There are normal cycles of evolution and growth/death that life goes through in all environments. That is good and healthy. The great swathes of dead zones in the oceans and the land strip-mined and poisoned for profit is not. That is what I will protest and continue to pressure others for change, no matter how hopeless it seems at times. People don't bathe in their own filth or the filth of others, why should they live in the toxic shite of others while the robber barons have pristine views of panoramic landscapes. Make the bastards live on mercury tainted fields and eat food taken from poisoned waters and acreage, and see how fast things would change. Again, though, there is a glimmer that people are beginning to say 'no' to being forced to endure these kinds of situations.

While I don't feel compelled to save the entire earth per se, I do try to do my best to make my corner of it a healthy environment. I teach my children, and hopefully reach others, about conserving resources, looking for the most efficient sources of energy, and the aesthetic pleasure of a clean environment even if you have to pick up the litter that someone else threw to the ground. We are not divorced from the earth, nor have we been given the green light to run amok upon it indulging in mindless consumption and destruction of the environment. We are stewards and caretakers of the garden of Original Blessing that the creator[s] bestowed upon us. If everyone viewed humanity as the touch point of the realm of spirit made manifest, and that we were never kicked out of the 'Garden' save in our own twisted views of life and the earth, the world just might look a bit different.

"The problem with Westerners is that they believe they have been kicked out of the garden. They live their lives as if they had been thrown out of the realm of the divine. But the shaman knows that we always have existed and still exist in the Garden. Life is a feast. You are invited to dine."

~Alberto Villoldo

The third chamber inwards~

2008-11-22T13:12:00.001-08:00

Shadow Side: The Moon's shadow side never faces the Earth. Like the moon, we all have mysterious aspects of our personalities and past experiences, aspects we choose not to share with others. Our shadow side might include vulnerabilities, fantasies, and eccentricities - for example, a secret ambition to be a writer, an unrequited love, a penchant for collecting rocks, a fear of heights, or a belief in astrology. As our trust in a friend grows, we may cautiously reveal our shadow side or keep this realm of ourselves private. Whatever we choose, these aspects continue to influence our relationships and our self-regard. Visit your shadow side this week, and - for your own benefit - chart the terrain: Walk through your private realm and describe what you encounter there.

I think that much of this will be done in the morning pages. What I wish to be public has been discussed in the Dark Moon questions so far, and what inner work is occurring this week will stay cocooned in my private journal for the time being.

Chapter three, Question two

2008-11-20T08:10:00.001-08:00

Previous answers found here.

2. After reading this chapter, can I consider the possibility that the disappearance of the Goddess was overshadowed by cosmic planetary cycles and part of a natural process of renewal that occurs in the darkness? What comes up for me and in what ways does this challenge my previous beliefs?

Again, a very broad question asked about a very broad subject. In reading this chapter and question, it occurs to me that they are written for, at least it seems to me, an audience that is for the most part unfamiliar with these themes/theories, etc. and that this is written as an introduction to the concepts. Not that that is a bad thing, quite the opposite, we all are new to theories and ideas at some point, and even as we get 'experienced' in the ways of the mysteries, it is good to spiral back to the starting places. We stay fresh that way, and find newer questions to ask and explore, and keep ourselves from becoming rigidly fixed in our thinking.

I do know enough that this idea of cosmic cycles is not unknown to our ancestors. That they knew of this is recorded for us in stone if we but open our eyes and minds to see it and accept the messages left for us.

Again, I'm not necessarily of the mind set that the Goddess energy/awareness ever fully left. Perhaps it's a matter of perception, and the majority of the occidental populace was largely unaware of this current. There have been those mystics within the past that kept the knowledge and awareness of the feminine divine alive, honouring it even if it branded them as heretics and saw their works largely destroyed. It could be that they were charged with watching and safe-guarding the fallow field for that time when the seeds of renewal could begin to sprout. They kept the message alive and passed it along, again, for those with ears to hear and eyes to see.

It is what we do with the knowledge in the time that we are given it that matters. For myself, I will continue seeking, questioning, and learning to live in harmony with my environment. If I can share this path with others, then the more the merrier. What is interesting to note, is that some of the ideas touched on in these questions [namely the reemergence of currents and energies] is being discussed on various lists. Both the idea of approaching the new flows with openness and respect and the idea of trying to control and retain 'traditional authority' over the reemerging, stronger currents. Interesting times, indeed.

And as always, I do reserve the right to revisit this answer with additional thoughts, observances, etc., as time and wisdom reveal them to me.

Riding new currents

2008-11-18T10:07:00.001-08:00

I am behind on everything everywhere, and I've decided to throw in the towel on deadlines. My lists have been burnt and I am just going to focus on being where I am when I am there.

Many pardons, I did not get much sleep last night.

After being wrung dry by one muse and getting an edited and re-edited Google doc posted up... it's your turn next time *evil eye*... I went to bed and was fully intending to get some good rest.

The universe had other ideas. As soon as I closed my eyes, my head fairly exploded with wild images and colours. Vast multi-coloured rainbow serpents wove in and out of my awareness as masques and white-chalk painted African and Polynesian faces would appear and fade away. I heard singing and chanting in languages I did not know, but could understand the celebration in the meaning behind the words. Water streamed in the images, and fish leaping, chased and chasing other rainbow-serpents through the waters, down falls, rapids, and waves. All in an amazing rush of exuberance.

I'm not at all sure what time I did finally drop off to sleep proper, but that 5:45 alarm clock sounded all too early this morning. The second question for Chapter three of the Dark Moon, I fear, will be pushed back to being answered tomorrow. My morning pages are having a skip and a rest today.

Thoughts from this morning

2008-11-16T10:59:00.000-08:00

I got a new Tarot deck yesterday. I wasn't sure that I wanted it, but opened the package anyway and decided that it was a happy coincidence and message from the universe. The cards are inspired by the Visconti-Sforza deck and I love the imagery far better than the Rider-Waite deck. Interestingly enough, it also comes with a second blank set of cards that are meant to be coloured in by the owner as an esoteric exercise. This will be a long exercise but a fruitful one.

Switching gears a bit, I have started in on the second chamber of the Nautilus path.

Alone Time: Solitude is different from loneliness. When you choose to spend time alone, you are electing to focus your attention on your own process. You are paying attention to your self the way you would a best friend or cherished lover. Yet many of us fear solitude. When we find ourselves alone, we fill up the time and space with activities that pull our attention outward. Next time you start aimlessly flipping television channels or making idle phone calls, pause and check in with yourself, focusing your attention inward. What is it that you really want and need in this time? This week, make a date with yourself to spend an hour alone.

The rest left off, as most of you reading can guess where it is going and fill in the blanks. If you can't leave a comment and I'll fill it in. Part of my solitude is the practise of my morning pages. It is a free and unfiltered conversation with myself and I find that I get out of sorts and cranky when I miss this time for whateer reasons. The one time that I have been skimping on is my walks at lunchtime. I need to begin gifting myself with them again. Walking the trails through the woods at lunch time is very satisfying and an exercise in moving solitude. It is just me and nature, and I can let my mind wander, take in the beauty around me, and/or just walk with an empty mind and let the tension drain out of me. My gift to myself this new seasonal cycle is to begin taking this time again.

Another thought came to me this morning as I was writing in my pages about the tarot deck and the need for a new pouch for it. Tradition says that a deck should be stored in a black silk bag to ward it from energies that are not the readers own. Sage advice, and advice that I am going to ignore this time. Why? Because as I was meditating on this, it came to me that I want a pouch that is white linen, lined with green silk that I ave that has a small design of three chevrons stacked throughout it, red pomegranates that I will do in blackwork on the linen, and a black silk cord made from nine strands braided together. Goddess colours, numbers, and symbols galore. Yet, I also have the needed means and skills to keep the deck my own and attuned to me, so I am not worried about breaking tradition. The deck will still, for lack of a better word, 'work.' That is when I knew that tradition is there to act as a framework and allows for the 'tried and true' safe route through the mysteries for those learning them and beginning their esoteric path. It is a needed framework that helps the budding mystic whilst they are learning and absorbing the lessons. After a certain point, they have the tools and knowledge needed to break out and begin exploring their path outside of traditional bounds. It seems to me that many never do that, but remain hide-bound by tradition and stifled. Therein lies the danger of dogma and codified systems the world over, I suppose. So, it is a path of continued exploration for me. If worse comes to worse, I can make another black silk bag.

Chapter three, question one

2008-11-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

Previous answers found here.

1. If I am aware of the Goddess herstory, do I think that women were innocent victims of the patriarchy's brutal aggression? Do I think that women must rise in anger to protest this injustice and to reclaim what was forcibly taken away from them? Do I perpetuate a tension between a victim and oppressor in my attitudes toward protecting myself against the potential threat of those who are more powerful?

First, I loathe with every fibre of my being the term 'herstory' and other associated made up names designed to market feminine empowerment as the superior way of viewing the world. If you absolutely must attribute gender power to the words, use history and heritage. Actually, if you must do that, please just stay away from me until you've matured and can hold a meaningful conversation without finding an invisible threat in a word. I was going to say until you ripen and fall off the tree, but I am trying to be nice today. It may not work as my head is about doing me in at the moment. I am not afraid of the word history and do not feel threatened when someone uses it in my hearing. However, I'd be reasonably cautious around the words 'I will kill you' if they were uttered in my presence. See the difference?

Secondly, I'm not at all sure that I believe in the concept of 'innocent victims' in a major cultural shift. This question, to me, is at once very simple and too broad to discuss in absolutes. I'm not even sure that human cultural development is about matriarchy versus patriarchy, so much as it is about evolving and devolving mental attitudes toward interacting with our environment. In many ways, the past can be viewed as a growing organic creature. The idylls of childhood when cooperation and empathy are discovered and valued, then brash adolescence when everyone else is wrong, stupid, and invincibility is not an illusion but a mental absolute. Then comes the realisation that maybe we aren't as invincible as we thought and maybe, just maybe we better think about things again. I think that we are, for the most part, in the 'maybe we need to think about things' stage and that is why we are seeing a re-emergence of older ideas and principles. We're not content to hang out at the mall any longer and are beginning to enjoy browsing through the library to find knowledge that we can live and work with, and that we can pass along to those who will follow us.

Do I perpetuate a tension between victim and oppressor? Oh hells no. I refuse to participate in the culture of fear and mass hysteria. Dear gods, that is one of the single biggest issues that would get me frothing at the mouth about the past eight years under the Shrub administration. I refuse to duck and cower at shadows on the wall, especially if those crying wolf about those shadows want me to trust them to do my critical thinking for me. I will protest that. I will scream and kick and refuse to be dragged down that path. Will I go out and knee-cap some male for his gender due to perceived past injustice done to women with the blessings of the Patriarch bogey man? No. But if that same male [or female to be honest] tried to hurt me or mine, it's a fair bet that anger and violence would then occur.

To reclaim our sanity doesn't begin with a radical swing to the opposite polar extreme. There is a good reason why all the mystery traditions teach the value of the middle way. Yes, women have been the victims of atrocities in the past. But so have men, and we cannot heal and move forward if we allow ourselves to forget that.

The rising place of awakened feminine currents in all aspects of our world should not be given prominence over the wounded male current. We need to heal that wound so that the male can once more value the life-affirming qualities of the natural masculine current. Father Time and Mother Nature, the Green Man and the Lady of the Wood... they have always been present and point the way to wholeness to those who will listen. Those of us who have been listening and living this balance, well, it falls to us to show others how this can be done and we cannot teach with a fist closed in anger.

Spiralling inward

2008-11-08T18:10:00.000-08:00

I am taking the Nautilus Path with the workbook Prayers to the Moon by Kay Leigh Hagan. As with the Mysteries of the Dark Moon answers, some will only be discussed on the surface here with more in-depth personal conversations occurring in my morning pages.

The Nautilus path~

Personal Mail: Write a letter to someone rather distant [geographically or emotionally], a friend you have not seen in a long time, or someone from whom you feel estranged... What inner selves were speaking there? How would you characterise the voice you eventually chose to use in the letter? [You do not have to post the letter.]

Written and discussed in my morning pages.

Notes on the journey:

2008-11-08T13:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was, all around, an uneasy day with the aethers. After I performed the rites for the blessed departed, I just sat in the quiet house to centre and ground myself.

A few times during that time I heard rustlings and thumps outside of the house. Even after I put on the porch light, they continued although my eyes saw nothing. I strengthened the wards on the doors and windows, and kept the black candles I have lit. Before going to bed, I was doing a small tidy and when I was picking up one of the sofa cushions that the cat knocked over, I saw a snake's head peeking up between the end of the sofa and other cushions. I blinked and it was gone. Needless to say, I gave the sofa a hefty thump and waited. Nothing, so I took all the cushions off and gave it another thump. Waited and still nothing, so I put the cushions back on and am left to wonder if it was just a message to be open and ready to further messages, or an indication of new energies and patterns emerging.

In the darkness, trying to still my mind and get ready to sleep, I felt an almost warm tingling around my mouth and nose, and a hunching feeling in my shoulders; like I was shape-shifting into a raven. I could see myself wearing a mantle of black glistening feathers as I skimmed over a battlefield. Landing, I sat by one corpse and began to peck away at the dead flesh and realised that it was myself that I was consuming. I was helping myself get shed of the dead parts that are no longer working in my life.

Then my daughter had a fright. She must have been travelling and something disturbed her enough that she cried out. I was out of bed like a flash and projecting a 'you'll have to get through me first' burst of oh-no-you-don't energy. Checking in on her, she was fine and didn't recall a thing, so I tucked her back up and charged her guardian stuffed animals to keep watch.

Back in my room, I projected myself into a golden lioness and made sure that everything knew that I was out walking and warding my territory. Returning to my own form, I declared my authority over my home, family, and territory.

"I am the snarling lioness, with blood-stained maw and eviscerating claws."

Called upon the protection and sovereignty of Mother Sekhmet to grant me her strength in protecting my own. I also proclaimed my authority again in triad form, listing all of my skills and abilities. After that, I could feel an ebbing of what was trying and testing, then sealed and warded those weaker points. Fell into a quiet and untroubled sleep after that. I know that I dreamt, but cannot recall any of it.

Prayers to the Moon

2008-11-08T12:14:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Ashtoreth's Mirror. Here is where I will be putting my metaphysical thoughts and notes on the esoteric journey. For daily ramblings, I direct you to Nanny Ashtoreth.