Relocation

Until further notice, or server failure, my posts and updates will be occurring solely on IJ. I just cannot keep up with multiple accounts and would rather devote all of my attention to one place.

Mysteries of the Dark Moon.
Prayers to the Moon.

The Sixth Chamber Inward

Sea of Crisis - A trap is a device or condition that restricts movement. Sometimes you can be trapped by situations, habits, social customs, the prevailing views of your culture, or your own unwillingness to act. Usually, our traps are a combination of many things. When have you felt trapped> Identify the different aspects of the trap, the parts you could not control, the roles you might have played in being trapped, and the ways you chose to handle the situation. Did you escape, or are you still constrained by the trap? Think of who or what might help you escape now and imagine ways you can avoid this trap in the future.

Not to be flippant, but the trusty old trap map[TM]. It is one of the more invaluable tools in the shaman's pack and one that becomes worn and smoothed from use. I really do need to begin to use my inner landscapes map much more and much wiser...

Yes. There are traps and many times I can see them coming and detour. Other times, they catch me right unawares and near-disaster can occur. Steps have been taken to rectify and escape this trap, and others are identified and measures are being hammered out in my morning pages.

The Fifth Chamber Inwards

Home Free - I remember feeling a special sense of safety as a child when I fell asleep with my siblings in the backseat of the car as my parents drove us home. Now that I am an adult and a city dweller, that feeling has become more elusive. What does safety mean to you? When do you feel completely safe and at peace? Describe the last time you experienced these feelings and what contributed to your sense of well-being. If you cannot recall such a time, imagine a situation that might evoke feelings of safety and describe the circumstances. Notice when you feel safe this week.

Oh dear, where to begin with this one...

Right, safety is an illusion that we're all pretty much well rid of if we expect it to magically manifest just because we've met a specific set of circumstances or went into the right room*.

That said, and in the spirit of what this exercise means, yes, there are times when I do feel safe. Generally, they occur after I find my feet happily and concretely upon terra firma after being in a risky situation. The last time I truly and deeply with 100% of my being felt physically safe was on 31 December, 2008 after I successfully crossed the hell bridge to get the beastiette. Terror is not too strong a word for driving over that bridge with the crosswinds blowing the way they were. Hells, even on the road there were gusts that pushed the car as I was driving. Before that, it was the time I swam out of a rip-tide. I suppose that I am lucky in that most of the time, I do feel physically safe in my environment.

Well-being and a sense of personal comfort is a bit different. I'm generally not 100% comfortable [personally] at work. I'm not meant to be; I'm doing a job, not enjoying my personal self. Comfort and well-being comes from being at home in the environment that I've chosen and have made my own. When this area is compromised, I get cranky and out-of-sorts until that is rectified. I am slowly learning to be more assertive about keeping this are protected and sacrosanct.

It's also, too, getting into the car at the end of the day. I can shed all expectations of how I am supposed to act and respond and just be myself. I can crank the radio up and sing as loudly as I want. I can be myself completely with no masques worn.


*I also realise that I have more of a luxury than many to be able to say this. That I do have this luxury places the obligation upon me to help everyone who lives daily in fear of their personal safety to live in the same circumstances. I am responsible to work toward bringing equity and justice to everyone. To do less would be to betray my obligations as a priestess.

The Fourth Chamber Inwards

This week, explore your idealism by designing a utopian society where everything is as it should be - according to you. Some areas to consider: how to make agreements and resolve conflicts, guidelines for behaviour, community principles, systems for communication, housing, and the economy. You might borrow from existing cultures, creating a "bill of rights" or "twelve steps" as well as inventing new values and forms that incorporate your own ideals. DO not forget to include fun and pleasure and allow your imagination full reign. As you construct your utopia, study the culture in which you live now, noting what you would retain and what you would change. Here is how I began: I have named my ideal society Escapadia, where we live in small, self-governing communities. We live close to the earth, eating what we grow and trading skills, tools, and art with other communities. Violence is forbidden and nearly forgotten. We use computer technology to participate in global efforts, but our main concerns are listening to the earth, communicating with other creatures, and enjoying the beauties of this planet. Country line-dancing and two-stepping are national pastimes...

First of all, I could not do this exercise without admitting to absolutely hating the term 'Escapadia' and railing against people all-the-bloody-time misusing the term Utopia. Utopia does not mean 'perfect place' it means 'no place' and I personally believe More was using the work as social satire on the state of England during his time, not something he could actively do outside a body of fiction. Additionally, I believe using the term encourages us to actively look outside of ourselves to find a state of ideal perfection. That is not going to happen until we achieve inner balance, and once we have that, then our inner world eclipses the outer and there is no need for the fruitless external search.

Ideally, though, people would live according to their means and needs. Nature would be respected as a finite resource to be managed sustainably and nurtured. Development would be smart and implemented with the aim of benefiting all, not just the developers. Individuals would be honoured for their gifts, not for contorting and squeesing themselves into cookie-cutter moulds and denying their personality.

In short, the ideal society would begin by adopting and implementing sage advice from a few thousand years ago: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

The third chamber inwards~

Shadow Side: The Moon's shadow side never faces the Earth. Like the moon, we all have mysterious aspects of our personalities and past experiences, aspects we choose not to share with others. Our shadow side might include vulnerabilities, fantasies, and eccentricities - for example, a secret ambition to be a writer, an unrequited love, a penchant for collecting rocks, a fear of heights, or a belief in astrology. As our trust in a friend grows, we may cautiously reveal our shadow side or keep this realm of ourselves private. Whatever we choose, these aspects continue to influence our relationships and our self-regard. Visit your shadow side this week, and - for your own benefit - chart the terrain: Walk through your private realm and describe what you encounter there.

I think that much of this will be done in the morning pages. What I wish to be public has been discussed in the Dark Moon questions so far, and what inner work is occurring this week will stay cocooned in my private journal for the time being.

Thoughts from this morning

I got a new Tarot deck yesterday. I wasn't sure that I wanted it, but opened the package anyway and decided that it was a happy coincidence and message from the universe. The cards are inspired by the Visconti-Sforza deck and I love the imagery far better than the Rider-Waite deck. Interestingly enough, it also comes with a second blank set of cards that are meant to be coloured in by the owner as an esoteric exercise. This will be a long exercise but a fruitful one.

Switching gears a bit, I have started in on the second chamber of the Nautilus path.

Alone Time: Solitude is different from loneliness. When you choose to spend time alone, you are electing to focus your attention on your own process. You are paying attention to your self the way you would a best friend or cherished lover. Yet many of us fear solitude. When we find ourselves alone, we fill up the time and space with activities that pull our attention outward. Next time you start aimlessly flipping television channels or making idle phone calls, pause and check in with yourself, focusing your attention inward. What is it that you really want and need in this time? This week, make a date with yourself to spend an hour alone.

The rest left off, as most of you reading can guess where it is going and fill in the blanks. If you can't leave a comment and I'll fill it in. Part of my solitude is the practise of my morning pages. It is a free and unfiltered conversation with myself and I find that I get out of sorts and cranky when I miss this time for whateer reasons. The one time that I have been skimping on is my walks at lunchtime. I need to begin gifting myself with them again. Walking the trails through the woods at lunch time is very satisfying and an exercise in moving solitude. It is just me and nature, and I can let my mind wander, take in the beauty around me, and/or just walk with an empty mind and let the tension drain out of me. My gift to myself this new seasonal cycle is to begin taking this time again.

Another thought came to me this morning as I was writing in my pages about the tarot deck and the need for a new pouch for it. Tradition says that a deck should be stored in a black silk bag to ward it from energies that are not the readers own. Sage advice, and advice that I am going to ignore this time. Why? Because as I was meditating on this, it came to me that I want a pouch that is white linen, lined with green silk that I ave that has a small design of three chevrons stacked throughout it, red pomegranates that I will do in blackwork on the linen, and a black silk cord made from nine strands braided together. Goddess colours, numbers, and symbols galore. Yet, I also have the needed means and skills to keep the deck my own and attuned to me, so I am not worried about breaking tradition. The deck will still, for lack of a better word, 'work.' That is when I knew that tradition is there to act as a framework and allows for the 'tried and true' safe route through the mysteries for those learning them and beginning their esoteric path. It is a needed framework that helps the budding mystic whilst they are learning and absorbing the lessons. After a certain point, they have the tools and knowledge needed to break out and begin exploring their path outside of traditional bounds. It seems to me that many never do that, but remain hide-bound by tradition and stifled. Therein lies the danger of dogma and codified systems the world over, I suppose. So, it is a path of continued exploration for me. If worse comes to worse, I can make another black silk bag.

Spiralling inward

I am taking the Nautilus Path with the workbook Prayers to the Moon by Kay Leigh Hagan. As with the Mysteries of the Dark Moon answers, some will only be discussed on the surface here with more in-depth personal conversations occurring in my morning pages.

The Nautilus path~

Personal Mail: Write a letter to someone rather distant [geographically or emotionally], a friend you have not seen in a long time, or someone from whom you feel estranged... What inner selves were speaking there? How would you characterise the voice you eventually chose to use in the letter? [You do not have to post the letter.]

Written and discussed in my morning pages.