Chapter Four: Nemesis questions

Previous answers found here.

1. Do I have a concept of right and wrong, and do I have a value system to determine the difference? Is there some force within me that advises me against following a course of wrong action? Do I believe in a wrathful, punishing divine force that operates outside of my control? Or do I have a sense that it might be my own actions and attitudes that eventually lead to my punishment?

Yes. I think that much of humanity does, and we've been attempting to codify it for centuries. Sometimes I think that humanity delights in taking things that should be fairly straight forward and over-complicating them. My uncle and I were talking about this this weekend; somehow treating others as you wish to be treated came up at supper and he countered that the flaw in that philosophy was the person who wanted to be treated like a jerk and so acted like an jerk. Not so much, treat them well at first and if they prove that they want to be treated like a jerk then by all means, feel free to do so or to ignore them. I don't want to be called a jerk or be seen as a total anti-social scumbag, so I try to avoid acting like one. My internal forces are vain that way.

An outside force, like some celestial bogey-man with a Rod of Smitting? Not so much, although if there are such jobs in the universe, I'd be a bit more than 1/2 tempted to apply for any vacancies. You great moron! Taste the Rod of Smiting and despair! There's an ex-president and an ex-vice president that top my list of who I'd visit first.

I am an 'as you sow, so shall you reap' believer. Eventually, anti-social behaviour will catch you up. Ignoring your own needs, too, will catch you up. Life is constant movement toward balance and the middle road. Some lessons are more painful than others, but if we learn from them, our road gets a bit easier to walk.

2. Do I try to "get away" with things? Am I dishonest when it is to my advantage? If I have good luck, do I share my bounty with others? When I am wrong, do I admit it? Do I see the law and authority figures as hostile powerful forces who are out to get me?

Oh, let's just call it what it is, shall we? Cheating. I dislike cheating intensely; even more than I dislike being beaten at a game by someone who's having a better run of luck, more skilled, etc. There's always another day and another game to be had.

Yes, I do share my good fortune with others, although, it seems like it's been a while since the last windfall from Dama Fortuna [Yes, I do suppose that is a hint to the Universe.]

I do try to admit when I'm wrong. It's hard some times, I'm human not a saint, but when I'm wrong, there's nothing to be gained by digging my heels in and insisting that I'm right. That's just asking to lose in greater ways.

Do I see the law and authority figures as hostile powerful forces who are out to get me? Yes and no. The law is an agreed upon set of social behaviours we agree to abide by for the betterment of all. Officers of the law and politicians are appointed to ensure that these applications of law apply to all equally and fairly. In theory. In practise, well, I am old enough that idealism has been tarnished by watching these public servants in action abusing and distorting their positions of authority for personal agrandisment and gain. "Who shall watch over the guardians?" That is our job. Oh, maybe we all do get to have a Rod of Smiting, even if it takes the form of outraged letters to editors, justices, judiciary committees, etc.

Community organisers and their pens! I bet Sarah Palin would be quaking in her caribou booties at that thought if it ever made it through the hair-spray haze that surrounds her.

The Fifth Chamber Inwards

Home Free - I remember feeling a special sense of safety as a child when I fell asleep with my siblings in the backseat of the car as my parents drove us home. Now that I am an adult and a city dweller, that feeling has become more elusive. What does safety mean to you? When do you feel completely safe and at peace? Describe the last time you experienced these feelings and what contributed to your sense of well-being. If you cannot recall such a time, imagine a situation that might evoke feelings of safety and describe the circumstances. Notice when you feel safe this week.

Oh dear, where to begin with this one...

Right, safety is an illusion that we're all pretty much well rid of if we expect it to magically manifest just because we've met a specific set of circumstances or went into the right room*.

That said, and in the spirit of what this exercise means, yes, there are times when I do feel safe. Generally, they occur after I find my feet happily and concretely upon terra firma after being in a risky situation. The last time I truly and deeply with 100% of my being felt physically safe was on 31 December, 2008 after I successfully crossed the hell bridge to get the beastiette. Terror is not too strong a word for driving over that bridge with the crosswinds blowing the way they were. Hells, even on the road there were gusts that pushed the car as I was driving. Before that, it was the time I swam out of a rip-tide. I suppose that I am lucky in that most of the time, I do feel physically safe in my environment.

Well-being and a sense of personal comfort is a bit different. I'm generally not 100% comfortable [personally] at work. I'm not meant to be; I'm doing a job, not enjoying my personal self. Comfort and well-being comes from being at home in the environment that I've chosen and have made my own. When this area is compromised, I get cranky and out-of-sorts until that is rectified. I am slowly learning to be more assertive about keeping this are protected and sacrosanct.

It's also, too, getting into the car at the end of the day. I can shed all expectations of how I am supposed to act and respond and just be myself. I can crank the radio up and sing as loudly as I want. I can be myself completely with no masques worn.


*I also realise that I have more of a luxury than many to be able to say this. That I do have this luxury places the obligation upon me to help everyone who lives daily in fear of their personal safety to live in the same circumstances. I am responsible to work toward bringing equity and justice to everyone. To do less would be to betray my obligations as a priestess.

The Fourth Chamber Inwards

This week, explore your idealism by designing a utopian society where everything is as it should be - according to you. Some areas to consider: how to make agreements and resolve conflicts, guidelines for behaviour, community principles, systems for communication, housing, and the economy. You might borrow from existing cultures, creating a "bill of rights" or "twelve steps" as well as inventing new values and forms that incorporate your own ideals. DO not forget to include fun and pleasure and allow your imagination full reign. As you construct your utopia, study the culture in which you live now, noting what you would retain and what you would change. Here is how I began: I have named my ideal society Escapadia, where we live in small, self-governing communities. We live close to the earth, eating what we grow and trading skills, tools, and art with other communities. Violence is forbidden and nearly forgotten. We use computer technology to participate in global efforts, but our main concerns are listening to the earth, communicating with other creatures, and enjoying the beauties of this planet. Country line-dancing and two-stepping are national pastimes...

First of all, I could not do this exercise without admitting to absolutely hating the term 'Escapadia' and railing against people all-the-bloody-time misusing the term Utopia. Utopia does not mean 'perfect place' it means 'no place' and I personally believe More was using the work as social satire on the state of England during his time, not something he could actively do outside a body of fiction. Additionally, I believe using the term encourages us to actively look outside of ourselves to find a state of ideal perfection. That is not going to happen until we achieve inner balance, and once we have that, then our inner world eclipses the outer and there is no need for the fruitless external search.

Ideally, though, people would live according to their means and needs. Nature would be respected as a finite resource to be managed sustainably and nurtured. Development would be smart and implemented with the aim of benefiting all, not just the developers. Individuals would be honoured for their gifts, not for contorting and squeesing themselves into cookie-cutter moulds and denying their personality.

In short, the ideal society would begin by adopting and implementing sage advice from a few thousand years ago: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Chapter Four: Nyx - Question 2

Previous answers found here.

2. Do I recognise the positive power of being alone, of having open unscheduled time in my life, or of having a spacious uncluttered environment? Can I utilise these situations to be open, receptive, and still; or do I percive them as feeling lonely, bored, or impoverished?

Anyone who knows me will know my answers here. Yes, a full thousand fold. I jealously guard my free time and cherish my own personal time. I don't begrudge company or socialising, but I do need a small amount of time just for me on a daily basis, or I get horribly out of sorts.

Uncluttered environment? That's a nice dream. Actually, I don't mind 'active clutter' the piles of materials needed to be present when working on projects. Filth and dirt, no... those aren't flying in my house. A pristine and spartan [or Ikean] environment would drive me to tears and mental boredom quick as a wink. To me, it just speaks of a meanness of spirit and coldness of personality.