The Fifth Chamber Inwards

Home Free - I remember feeling a special sense of safety as a child when I fell asleep with my siblings in the backseat of the car as my parents drove us home. Now that I am an adult and a city dweller, that feeling has become more elusive. What does safety mean to you? When do you feel completely safe and at peace? Describe the last time you experienced these feelings and what contributed to your sense of well-being. If you cannot recall such a time, imagine a situation that might evoke feelings of safety and describe the circumstances. Notice when you feel safe this week.

Oh dear, where to begin with this one...

Right, safety is an illusion that we're all pretty much well rid of if we expect it to magically manifest just because we've met a specific set of circumstances or went into the right room*.

That said, and in the spirit of what this exercise means, yes, there are times when I do feel safe. Generally, they occur after I find my feet happily and concretely upon terra firma after being in a risky situation. The last time I truly and deeply with 100% of my being felt physically safe was on 31 December, 2008 after I successfully crossed the hell bridge to get the beastiette. Terror is not too strong a word for driving over that bridge with the crosswinds blowing the way they were. Hells, even on the road there were gusts that pushed the car as I was driving. Before that, it was the time I swam out of a rip-tide. I suppose that I am lucky in that most of the time, I do feel physically safe in my environment.

Well-being and a sense of personal comfort is a bit different. I'm generally not 100% comfortable [personally] at work. I'm not meant to be; I'm doing a job, not enjoying my personal self. Comfort and well-being comes from being at home in the environment that I've chosen and have made my own. When this area is compromised, I get cranky and out-of-sorts until that is rectified. I am slowly learning to be more assertive about keeping this are protected and sacrosanct.

It's also, too, getting into the car at the end of the day. I can shed all expectations of how I am supposed to act and respond and just be myself. I can crank the radio up and sing as loudly as I want. I can be myself completely with no masques worn.


*I also realise that I have more of a luxury than many to be able to say this. That I do have this luxury places the obligation upon me to help everyone who lives daily in fear of their personal safety to live in the same circumstances. I am responsible to work toward bringing equity and justice to everyone. To do less would be to betray my obligations as a priestess.